Motherly or Childish? Maxie's Both!

In the aftermath of my injury and Maxie's "tender loving care", or more accurately, torture; I finally decided to see a real doctor (instead of Dr Snakey) and got my wounds cleaned and wrapped up. This way, Maxie can't get antiseptic on herself and I won't have to cringe in terror everytime she sauntered over. I don't know about you, but cringing at the sight of your beloved pet walking towards you is NOT a good sign.

Turns out, I seem to have grossly misinterpreted Maxie's intentions. Instead of wanting to torture me, she was giving me "tough love" and forcing me to seek proper medical attention. This is evidenced by her actions on the day after I returned from the doctor (note to my readers: The pain after cleaning and bandaging equaled to that of having skinned myself all over again. So I would strongly recommend not seeking medical attention seeking medical attention as early as possible).

"I'm glad you finally got it looked at, now I'll just make sure you don't re-injure yourself all over again."

My so-called guardian fell asleep :p

Indeed, she extended her "guardian-ness" to ensuring I had taken my medication on time.

Have you taken your meds?

I'd better make sure and inspect your pills

Well, under her tender mercies and supervision, "mummy" Maxie made sure I recovered to the best of my abilities and was satisfied with my progress. She was kind enough to play on her own without inviting me to join in, and frequently ignored me if I tried to dangle toys in front of her. Awww, my little kitty's all grown up now....

...or not!

A good friend of mine had a birthday recently, so I teased Maxie by asking if she'd like to give Katie one of her toys as a birthday present, seeing as how kitty's got so many of her own already.

This ball's mine! Mine I tell you! She can get her own! MINE!

Whoa there.....you'd think I don't give her enough toys to play with.

"Maxie, you have to be nice and generous. She did give you the lovely collar you're wearing now, you know?" I chided her.

She looked askance at my words...

"Hmmph!"

"Maxie! You oughta be ashamed of yourself. Katie has no toys of her own to play with," I exclaimed, still trying to get a rise out of my cat.

Giving me her ashamed look

"But that's MY toy!" she mumbled.

"Okay, okay. Daddy's just teasing you. You can keep your toy. She probably doesn't want it anyway, all stuck with cat fur," I replied, stroking her cheeks.

"Ooh, I know! Give her this!" she meowed suddenly, excitement in her voice.

Cute Maxie pose as her "present" to Katie.

"Oh well. That's better than nothing, I guess," I sighed to myself. At least she's not possessive about her images and is always willing to "bestow" her cuteness on the world at large.

Cutting her some slack, I picked kitty up (with much protestations) and hugged her. When you live with cats, you pick your battles and take what small victories they allow.

PS: For my concerned readers, my external wounds are all basically dried and healed up. However, there might be some minor bone damage or internal bruising as I still have a lot of "internal" pain, but the docs say that there's nothing to be done about that except to let it heal with time. Been occupied with dealing with the injury so I beg your pardon for the short post. Thanks for the well wishes!

Sadistic Kitty.

I hurt myself last week, quite badly, though I shall refrain from posting any pics of that here in case there are squeamish readers. Instead, this post will revolve around how my furry princess reacted to my injury.

As I staggered home, barely able to walk, Maxie kicked up a ruckus from the bedroom where she is usually kept locked up when I'm not home.

"Let me out! Let me out!" she yowled, from beyond the door.

Took me longer than usual, but I managed to reach the bedroom while trailing blood on the floor (I only noticed that later) to unleash the kraken...er...kitty.

She flounced out of the room, grumbling about my absense.

"Why do you always need to go out? Can't you just stay here and be content serving me? There is absolutely no reason for you to step out that-" she froze in mid-rant, my state of distress sinking in.

Maxie edged closer, and I allowed her to inspect and sniff at my wounds, being careful to draw my leg away if she decided to add any further injury to me. Kitty sniffed at my leg, then sniffed at the ground and made a disapproving mrowl. I followed her eyes and cringed...I had left bloody footprints behind me. Cleaning up as best as I could under the circumstances, I was soon trying to patch myself up under kitty's supervision.

Doctoring myself with some antiseptic, I managed to sleep that night with a home made bandage loosely covering my wounds so I don't wake up looking like I've had my period during the night.

Thanks to the pain that kept me up for most of the night, I had the rare opportunity to snap a pic of sleeping Maxie.

*snore*

The next day, I realized how sadistic Maxie can be. I've learnt a new degree of self-control when I kept myself from screaming with every step I took the day after the injury. The whole morning, Maxie spent crouching in her box, eyes peering over the edge, watching me carefully, reminiscent of a hunting tiger.

By noon, I decided I wasn't going to die, and it was apparent that Maxie agreed with me. She walked over to me nonchalantly and meowed her greeting.

"Daddy, I'm so glad you're not going to die. It would be so hard to train a new slave. I love you soooooooo much," she purred, as she rubbed herself affectionately against my left leg; the one that had been oozing blood.

I nearly kicked her in reflex to the lightning bolt of pain that struck me. Fortunately, kitty was in front of the wound and I drew my leg back instead of kicking it out forwards. Gasping in pain as my eyes watered, I watched Maxie saunter casually back to her box, self-satisfaction evident on her face. It was obvious what the devil cat was thinking: "Well, if you're not going to die from it, I might as well get a laugh from it by torturing you."

The day went on, and soon after I forgot all about that episode. That night, after I re-applied the antiseptic and was trying to will the pain away, Maxie again decided to express her affection for me by walking pass me and doing a credible impression of a CIA/KGB brush-pass. She bumped into my wounds with her shoulder, rubbed along luxuriously and flicked her tail at it as she went by. Oh mai gawd!!!!!! 

I had to grab her and wash her, all the while trying not to scream from the pain radiating off my leg, as she had antiseptic all over her fur and I couldn't risk her licking it off while I trashed around in agony.

Kitty learnt her lesson from this; rub on wound = bath, so she avoided her over-exuberant displays of love for me over the next few days. I had to make a JB trip during the weekend so I had to leave her for 3 days (don't worry, she's used to this and she actually prefers this over travelling with me).

Don't leave!

I won't allow you to go!

The last time you left, you hurt yourself!

Well, I left, I survived, and I returned. Maxie was happy to see me back in one piece (or was that disappointed? I can never be sure). She inspected my wounds and then scrupulously avoided that leg for most of the "welcome home" greeting.

After a few hours, things were back to normal at home. My wounds have scabbed over with clot so I didn't feel a need to apply antiseptic over them  again. It wasn't immediately obvious to me the implications of this act, until Maxie struck again.

5 hours after my return, Maxie meowed from the living room, I meowed back. Then she meowed behind my chair, I meowed back.  Next, she circled the chair I was in, in a clock-wise direction, making sure she carefully rubbed against BOTH my legs 3 times in 3 circles. I whimpered each time she did it but didn't want to chase her away in case she took it the wrong way as though I didn't want her love.

An idea hit me, and I took a water bottle and put it right beside my left leg so she'd circle that instead of my wounds. Well, guess what? The moment the bottle appeared, the cat walked away, whiskers twitching in amusement. She settled down in her box, yawned and looked at me. It didn't take a genius to realize that she had learnt that no antiseptic = no bath.

"Mission accomplished!" she informed me, smugly. "Welcome home, daddy," she meowed at me sweetly before closing her eyes and going to sleep.

The Invasion Aftermath

Once the guests have left, it didn't take long before everything returned to normal. Or so I thought...

In the aftermath of the home invasion, Maxie seems to have developed quite a possessive streak. It started off normally, so I didn't put much thought to it. She would rub her cheeks against most surfaces to renew her scent and patrol the apartment.

However, I noticed after awhile that she seemed to be greatly uneasy with the house still and was more affectionate towards me. My tsundere cat, affectionate. My interest was piqued and I decided to keep an eye out. The first clue she gave me was that she refused to let me sweep up her litter sand in the mornings.

"You shall not sweep!" exclaimed Maxie the Grey....cat.

The next clue was when she started giving me sass when I try to get her to move from MY spot on the bed! Usually she'd just move to her spot and ignore me, or just jump off the bed altogether.

Nyah!

I finally figured out why she was so insecure about her possessions (wait, I'm a possession?!) when I caught kitty playing guard cat around something my family left behind for me. Two cempedak fruits (sorry, as far as I know there's no English translation for this local delicacy) were starting to ripen, and the smell permeated the whole apartment. For the local Malaysian readers, you'd know what I mean. It's a sweet-smelling fruit when it's ripe, and tends to attract the squirrels and tree-shrews in the wild. These must have been the reason why kitty couldn't find her own scent markings the last few days!

They left these STINKING THINGS behind when they left. How dare they! It's MY HOUSE!!!

I wondered if kitty was afraid the fruits were some sorts of aliens the visitors left behind to take over the home. So I asked her...

Aliens? What???

Okay, maybe it was a bad idea to put THAT idea in her head. Poor Maxie was traumatised and followed me everywhere at home. I enjoyed the close company as much as I could, as I knew it wouldn't last.

"Daddy, why can't you throw those things away?"

"Daddy, did the aliens get to you?"

"Daddy, why does it smell so weird in our house?"

Eventually, the fruits fully ripened and I cut them open to extract the tasty innards. Ahem.

The princess was very interested in the process, and watched intently as I "slew the monsters" for her.

"You're my hero, daddy! I love you so much! I knew you could break free of the alien influence and fight back!" she purred as she rubbed her cheeks against me.

A few days after the "slaying of the aliens", Maxie woke me up one morning and insisted I let her into the guest room where my grandfather slept during the visit, also known as Garfield's room for my foster kitten. I thought that my kitty was missing her playmate again so I let her in to show her I wasn't hiding him. 

She couldn't have cared less about that, as my Princess pranced into the room and immediately staked claim on the bed my grandfather slept in.

I'm gonna make this bed smell like me

Mine, all mine!

That's right, no more aliens!

That'll teach them to invade my home

Amused, I let kitty indulge herself in scent marking, or fur scattering, on the mattress and went to grab breakfast. Half an hour later, I asked if she was done.

Done? What do you mean done?

I think I see an alien there too...

"Okay, baby. That's enough. It's time for you to come out and leave the aliens to me. Daddy needs to go out to the lab and get some alien killing chemicals," I cajoled her.

"Promise, daddy? We can't let them take over our apartment!" she entreated.

I smiled, nodded and gave her a pat. Before leaving though, I noticed she was staring furtively at a spot in our room...no doubt with imagination running wild again.

Wait, did that floor mat move?

Home Invasion of the Kitty Domain

As mentioned in my previous post, I had folks visiting during the holidays. So as is my mum's wont, she cleaned my place cos naturally, yours truly does a completely inadequate job. :p

Our favourite kitty is very shy of people who are not me, so even though she has met mum plenty of times, she still retreated to hide when mum popped into the apartment.

Who's that?

While mum was sorting out the mess (hey, I thought I tidied up before she come, but apparently it wasn't up to her standards!) I started vacuuming. You can guess my little princess was not overly fond of the om nom nom monster...

Hello again, Ms Kitty!

Maxie was highly unamused

We survived the vacuuming, especially after multiple shifting of Her Royal Cattiness from bedroom to living room to kitchen and back to bedroom. I don't think she was very happy with the whole process, though I figured she'd be less happy if I aimed the vacuum at her.

After that, it was mopping time. I'm ashamed to say that I let mum do most of the work thanks to my busted back, and in my defence there's only one mop :X

Now, you know how mopping goes right? You take the mop, dunk it in the pail, squeeze it dry and plomp it on the floor. Then you move it back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Now, if you moved something back and forth in front of this kitty, it means it's time to pounce! Which she does whenever I mop the floor. However, sadly for her, this time time it wasn't me who was doing the mopping, so Maxie was caught between wanting to play, and wondering if this other human was safe to play with...

Ooh back and forth movement!

I wanna go in!

Prepare to pounce...abort abort abort! Wrong humanz!

Noooo where humanz going with toyz? :(

So after the place was finally clean, all 3 of us settled down for a bit of rest...

This floor feels weird...where did all my fur go?

After awhile, Maxie was confident enough to wander around the place even with mum around to inspect her "new" surroundings. Much to her chagrin, a lot of her stuff had been packed away and she scampered everywhere looking for her belongings (they've been moved to the store in anticipation of guests). I found her lying protectively over one of her few possessions left in the living room...

They may take my box, but they won't take my scratch pad! Nevah!

Fast forward a day later, the rest of the family joined us at the apartment. Part of the entourage included 2 kids, both of whom are cat crazy. 2 cat-crazed kids + one overly shy cat = much one-sided love.

Who are these MONSTERS???

It was kinda adorable, really, though I do pity my princess. Everytime she gained enough confidence to put a paw outside the bedroom, she was "attacked" by the kids and run straight back in. She was always hiding in the room and mewling piteously at me whenever she saw me. "Help me!!!" she seemed to cry.

A few times I had to go out to run some errands and the moment I came back home Maxie would start crying out for me to save her from the monsters. Or to let her out of the room, only to watch her dart right back in again when one of the children catch sight of her. During nap times, kitty would wander out of her safe zone where the adults largely ignore her. She would even get daring enough to inspect the sleeping children, very very carefully.

Why is it so quiet in here?

Oh, good, the monsters are asleep.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, they woke and saw me!

Once, when I wasn't watching, one of the kids managed to finagle their way into my bedroom and in her desperation, Kitty sought to bury herself in the bedsheets, which were in process of being changed.

They won't find me in here!

Please don't tell them I'm in here!

As little kids go, there were numerous sibling squabbles. One of these was when the elder one was complaining that the younger one moved her stuff. I usually give these arguments a wide berth, but something in the way she looked pleased with herself made me wonder if a certain cat had anything to do with the commotion...

What? It wasn't me! I'm just lying here sunning myself. Yep, that's what I'm doing!

All visits come to an end, and when everyone was packing up, Maxie couldn't be happier. In fact, she even made sure everybody packed everything so they wouldn't have to come back and bother her again!  

You sure you got everything in that bag?

I'll just check to make sure you didn't leave anything behind

Are they gone, for real? Goodbye!! Good riddance! Er...I mean farewell!

"Maxie!" I chided, horrified at her bad manners.

"What? It's your fault they're bothering me!" she responded grumpily.

"Still, it's my mum! Behave! Bad kitty!" I scolded her, to which she responded as only a cat could:

Love me and worship me, for I am adorable!