Kitty on Rampage, or Something Like That

It's another week! In an attempt to get Maxie out of her funk, I brought out my secret weapon, the cat wand!

Kitty's pupils were fully dilated as she started mrowling loudly in anticipation.

Maxie stirring from her slumber, watching the wand alertly

"Gimmeh, gimmeh, gimmeh!" she seemed to say. As a tease, I walked around with the cat wand in my hands but not giving it to her. Maxie followed me around the apartment like a dog learning how to heel. Hmmm...this bears promise, but perhaps in the future.

All her long-unused wingchun moves came back as she batted the wand furiously. "Die, you weird, pink-feathered thing!"

Predictably, I got tired a lot sooner than she did, and Maxie was giving me indignant meows to keep her adversary moving. We evolved a new game from it though.

"Where is it?"

Propping the wand against her food bin, Maxie was a little nonplussed at the start. She soon cottoned on to things..

*sniff sniff*

*bat bat bat*

"This foe is slain, next!"

We engaged in another merry-go-round the house with her pouncing on my ankles and my knees in an attempt to wrest the pink fiend from me.

"Ah ha!"

"Bite"

"Come here, you!"

With the repeated vanquishing of the same(?) foe, yours truly soon got tired of the game. Not so for Maxie though. While I sat upon my chair working on the computer, she sat at my feet (sigh, if only it was on my lap) waiting for the next round of fun to start. Occasionally I'd look down to look at her and she'd give me a plaintive "meow!"

Despite her slave daddy's reluctance, a resourceful kitty always manages to get her way. Mother Nature decided to bless us with a giant fly thingie invasion. I got 2 of those out somehow, but the last eluded me.

"Daddy, what's all that buzzing?"

Maxie was on patrol though. Woe betide any insect or gecko that finds its way past my inefficient defence...

"Don't worry, I've got it!"

"There's nowhere to hide, fly-guy!"

Fortunately, I managed to get rid of it before she could sink her teeth in. She always gets sick after ingesting bugs, but never stops eating them whenever she gets the chance anyway. Silly kitty. I've to be constantly on the lookout or I'd have to deal with this:

Sick kitty: "I promise not to drink eat a bug again!" *puke*

I had to be careful what I wished for, though. As I had wanted my little sleepy princess to stop sleeping all the time, she showed me what a nuisance she can be.

"Oh, you're watching a movie? Hand the control over! I wanna see the bit where Duchess holds tails with Thomas!"*

*Aristocats

I had to push her away and tell her to be patient. The movie's only fun if we watch it in progression, not just skipping to our favourite bits. Kitty sulked and turned her back on me.

The other incident involved me collecting the laundry:

"What is this?"

*wonders if she can use it for kung fu training*

Yup, sure can!

After rescuing a sock, a handkerchief and a t-shirt from kitty soft claws, I finally managed to put my hangers back outside in the laundry area, safe from her ravaging fists...er...paws.

Following all that exertion, it was time for kitty to wind down her activities.

Om nom nom nom!

and finally...

zzz in the 12 o'clock

Sleeping Cat Trivia

I haven't been provided much material this past week, because Maxie had decided that the only inspiration she'd condescend to contribute to this week's entry was to...sleep.

We all know how much cats sleep in a day, and Maxie decided to rub it in a little further. So when I told her that I needed some material for my blog, this is what I got:

"You want MOI to give you material?" *kitty evil eye*

Using my highly acute *snicker* sense of observation, I attempted to chronicle Maxie's sleep periods. The first one is the 3 o'clock position. Difficulty level: 1/5. Cat is able to achieve this position at any time provided there's no play or tuna involved. Similar positions include the 9 o'clock and the 12 o'clock. Any approach by human will wake cat up. Maxie has never been found in the 6 o'clock position before.

 

Pre 3 o'clock

The initial sleep position: the 3 o'clock

Next position, the twist. Difficulty level: 2/5. Cat must subconsciously twist body around from the 3 o'clock position during sleep without waking. Usually achieved when no disturbances occur during the 3 o'clock, including but not limited to stupid human walking towards cat and giving cat a stroke or two.

The twist.

Waking from the twist

Following that is "The Pose". Difficulty level: 3/5 to 4/5. Cat will evolve from the twist and ensure that a suitably impressive pose is achieved while in deep sleep. A favourite pose may be achieved if the subconscious was trained deep enough to deviate towards a default deep sleep position. This is generally acknowledged as the best time to photograph cat. Any disturbances such as attempted stroking or attention seeking from human will result in an eye popping open and closing again. Cat may decide to downgrade to the twist if disturbance warranted any action.

Kung fu cat pose

If one side gets too hot, roll over to the other and assume previous pose in reverse

The final position, that which only Grandmasters of Kitty Sleep have mastered, is the Assisted Sleep Mode. Difficulty level: 5/5. Cat must telegraph their intentions to their human slave companion and demand their humans to assist feline into position. In Maxie's case, she has successfully trained her human to know when she requires Assisted Sleep Mode under the covers of the blanket.

Maxie in Assisted Sleep mode on Friday morning

1 hour later...

Assisted Sleep Mode on Sunday morning

Making sure she's still alive.

So all in all, I guess I should be proud that Maxie is a Grandmaster in Kitty Sleep. No pictures for other bits of the story here, but I'll just describe.

Maxie decided to go on a sleep run (as usual) one day during the week. She started from the 3 o'clock, went into the twist, switched to a 12 o'clock, twisted into a 9 o'clock, and kept me waiting for a 6 o'clock, which still hasn't happened, as she went from the 9 o'clock into The Pose. She stayed like this until I climbed into bed next to her to read, whereupon she opened an eyelid, devolved into the twist between 9 and 12 o'clock, and was soon back in deep sleep. I shall endeavour to catch her in the 6 o'clock one day!

In the meantime, I had a lot of photo opportunities during The Pose, some of which I shall share with you for sheer "aww" material.

"Ultraman"

Until next week, dear readers, keep an eye out for other Grandmaster kitties!

Travelling Kitty ~ JB trip

It was Labour Day on Thursday, so with some other family event also slated around this period, I decided to head back for a long weekend and brought Her Highness with me.

Having decided thusly, I took out her carrier, opened the door and gestured to her, "Maxie, inside!"

She eyed me with a narrow stare, "Are you sure?"

"Inside, now!"

She grumblingly walked in...

"You'd better not be taking me to that nasty vet!"

"Or I shall use my Sith powers on you,"warns Darth Puissant.

A little discomfited, I hastily assured our wannabe Sith Lady (it's a Star Wars term for a scary bad guy...er...woman, for those who aren't a nerd like me) that no, we were not going to the vet, this time. Appeased, Maxie consented to my clumsy jostling of her carrier into the car.

Once we were on our way, Her Lordship yowled to be let out of her carrier. After nearly 2 hours of hearing her nagging and asking if we were there yet, I made a stop and obliged.

Are we there yet?

Looking forward to the trip

Upon arrival, I hurriedly set up the princess's temporary accommodations in case she was hungry or in need of the little kitty's room. When everything was to her liking, I unleashed the kitty from the carrier (I had to nudge her back inside when we arrived).

 

I've arranged things so that her food bowl, water bowl and litter tray were inside a small cage that my friend Shins thoughtfully donated to me when I first got Maxie (she has a bigger, less transportable cage that will probably be featured in some future blog post) for just this purpose. Though, seeing as how this wasn't her first trip to my JB home, she predictably protested.

"I hope you don't expect me to live in THAT?!" she meowed imperiously while I was setting things up.

"Of course not, sweetheart. Daddy will let you roam in the house, this is just to keep your stuff someplace where people won't accidentally move things," I assured her. I lied of course, the cage is so her litter sand won't get EVERYWHERE, instead of just localised around the cage (she managed to somehow get the sand everywhere anyway -_-").

Maxie inspecting the premises.

With mum's permission, Maxie got the run of the place (after we've netted the front door so she wouldn't get too adventurous and get run over by a roving truck).

As befitting her cat-ish nature,  she explored the place thoroughly and inspected every nook and cranny...

Hmmm, I've never been in THIS room  before! (The door is usually kept closed)

What is this hole in the ground for?

I hastily put a pail over the hole in the ground, less kitty decides to add spelunking to her already impressive resume.

"Okay, I guess this place is kinda neat. The front door's kinda noisy though, big noisy animals running around all day," she complained. We live in an apartment so she's unused to "large animals" passing by at 80km/h when down at JB.

"Meh kitty, that's just the traffic. Don't worry about it. You'll get used to it," I responded airily.

Shooting me a dubious look, Maxie decided to stamp her mark on the place, by picking what she thought was the most comfortable spot in the living room.

What are you looking at?

Somebody's definitely made herself at home...nicely camouflaged too!

The next day, we had errands to run, so we left Maxie at home alone. When I came back, she greeted me at the window while waiting for the door to open. Over the next few days, this was a repeating theme with the addition of her saying goodbye to me at the window when I left too. It kinda made me feel bad (I think that was her objective anyway), and it troubled me that she had to watch me leave. We have a firm routine at home when I leave: I ask her politely to come into the bedroom, she says okay, I close the door and leave. No fuss. However, in JB there's no routine and she gets to watch me leave and meow piteously (or was that gloatingly? Hmmm...).

I thought it would get better when I left to meet my cousins while mum is home to keep her company; but nope, mum said she waited at the door for me (awwww!):

"Welcome home! Er...don't be mad but I think I broke something while you were gone!" :X

"

Why you leave me behind?"

Well, I had to spend time with the family while here, so if I can't take kitty to the family, I'll take the family to the kitty! With a stroke bordering on the genius, I invited my cousins to come visit us instead!

Initially, Maxie wasn't impressed.

"Why are you bringing me more humans? I do not require more slaves! I've already trained you to my liking, don't you know that I shouldn't be exerting myself? I'm a grown cat, for goodness' sake! Grown cats are supposed to spend their time doing NOTHING!" she went on and on and on...

But wait, I had a trick up my sleeve...

Maxie's "whatever" to my cousins visiting

Wait, you have my wand? Bring it on!

Let me show you how kung fu is done!

 ...and a good time was had by all with Maxie's kitty wand!

Well, kitty got over-stimulated by the unexpected attention, so bed time wasn't fun. :p

The next day, I had a badminton date with some other cousins, so I had to leave Maxie behind again. When I got home, exhausted, I hurriedly took a shower and turned on my couch potato mode without giving Her Highness any attention.

"If you go and play badminton again, I will take this tool and smack you over the head with it! Capische?"

I grovelled, I'm ashamed to say, for forgiveness. I treated her to her favourite anchovies, fed her tuna, petted her just the way she likes (which usually involves me bending at unnatural angles, I'm convinced she likes the petting style solely for the sake of torturing me).

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll forgive you. This one time. Promise me you'll never play badminton again!" she ordered, in faux graciousness.

"Yes, princess. Anything you want," I continued to grovel, a clear victim of pussy-whipping.

"Now pet me to sleep!"

She commanded, I obeyed.

"I'll forgive you."

Soon, it was time to return home...and the packing frenzy started anew. Supervising me to ensure I left nothing (of hers) behind and that she got prime seats, we finally departed back to KL.

Goodbye, JB!

Hunting cat

After our attempt at transforming my cat into a kungfu kitty, things started to wind down around the apartment. Maxie started, for some unknown reason, to be a little bit more clingy. That is to say, she started hanging out beside me while I'm on the computer instead of sleeping in the living room. I think she's taking her guard duties a little seriously. Definitely NO cuddles still, cat on duty here, excuse me!

I've decided, in the absence of martial arts training sessions, that the kitty wand toy..er..training tool, will be kept somewhere safe, where she wouldn't have unsupervised access to. We wouldn't want Maxie to start developing any world domination ambitions now, do we?

Initially, the wand was kept on my computer desk behind my laptop. Maxie has never shown any inclination to visit my computer table...until now. One night, she jumped up and nosed around until she found her wand hidden underneath the rubble and made off with it. It was a tense stand-off between the two of us until she finally agreed to the trade of tuna for wand. *phew*

So, the weapon of mass blackmailstruction needs to be stored somewhere safe!

My "secret" hiding place

I wanted to encourage her on the table and thus folded up her towel that was meant to be her bed but she insists on using the darned recycle bag...sorry, got carried away there. So I folded her towel behind my laptop where the wand used to be, to tempt her to sleep there while I'm on the comp, presumably to foster some bonding time...

 

I don't know what you're up to, human, but that soft material you have there is stupid!

As she sat on my desk, she started making some rumblings.

"Sla-...er...daddy! I want my toy! I wish to practice my boxing skills now, please?" she deman..., I mean requested, somewhat imperiously.

"Nuh-uh, Maxie, you've had your fun earlier. Daddy wants to rest now. Daddy's had a hard day," I replied, while rubbing her on the cheek.

"I want my wand NOW!!! I know you have it! You've hidden it!" This time, the demand was unmistakable. Loud MROWLS over and over. Even the densest of non-cats could interpret that!

"No, little one. No more playing. It'll be bed time soon, and you know how you get if we have games before bed!" I stood my ground. (A quick detour, if my cat gets over-stimulated right before bed, she will dream that my toe and/or foot = scratching pad and will bite and scratch it industriously while sound asleep!)

Maxie wouldn't stand for it. She started rummaging around the desk, digging under the towel I set aside for her and finding nothing. Meowing constantly. No doubt using some choice words on yours truly!

Unable to help myself, I remarked to her, "I've locked it away. You won't find it, baby. Just give it a rest. I'll play with you tomorrow."

Maxie jerked her head up at my snide tone and shot me a dirty look reminiscent of this:

She continued her quest and started hanging her head over the side of the table, sniffing at the drawer furiously. Unfortunately, before I got a pic, she jumped off.

I know you have it here, you scoundrel!

Much to my consternation and amazement, she did manage to find it, and started pawing at the drawer. I figured that with the drawer closed, it was safe enough. I laughed at her and went outside to do something and returned to find this happening on my desk:

Just a little bit more...and I'll get it!

Giving in to another night of unrest, I opened the drawer and gave it to her before she converted into "claws of destruction" mode on my table. *sigh*

Kitty decided that the towel was good enough for warm up exercises with her toy

Wham! Wham wham wham!

"Meowhahahahaha! You cannot resist my kitty of doom charm! Now bat me with that wand so I can show you how awesome I am!" cried my catketeer.
 

Claw of doom

*pounce*

As soon as her highness was satisfied, I sneakily threw the wand out the bedroom door into the hall and closed the door in her face. :X

"Wait, what are you doing? HOW DARE YOU!??" exclaimed the cat.

I turned a deaf ear to her yowling, and it was torture. She pawed and scratched at the door and complained. Boy, did she complain!  I brushed my teeth and washed my face to the accompaniment of the kitty yowpera..

Suddenly, there was silence. Could she have...? Naw, it couldn't be. It's too much even for her, right? I mean, isn't it ridiculous to even think that she might've opened my bedroom door to get her toy back?

Full of trepidation, I peered out of my bathroom door. The bedroom door remained closed. Phew! But where was kitty?

Awww....

 Goodnight, folks!